How much does it cost?

For students, it is always free.

Are the teachers screened?

Yes! We require every new member to click on an “I accept these terms” button that verifies their claim of being a teacher. This protects you from being raped by someone who is not actually a teacher.

I’m 14 and don’t have a bank account, how can I pay to join?

It’s precisely for this reason we never charge students to join our network of exciting singles. Just complete the registration form and upload your picture (the hotter the better) and you’ll be well on your way to meeting that adult of your dreams before you can say “stop”.

A teacher wants to see me after bed-time, what should I do?

You should remember that bed time is whatever time you actually get in bed without your clothes on, and that all of the teachers in our network want nothing more than to see you get in bed like that. They know what’s best, just let go of your inhibitions and roll with it.

What I really need is counseling, should I still join Teacher Harmony?

Yes! You’re young and probably don’t know what you really need, so let us use our patented compatibility sytem to match you with somebody older, wiser and “trusted” to guide you through your troubled times. Who knows, you might even end up with a state licensed high school guidance counselor.

I’m not sure if I want to meet a male or female, is that okay?

Of course it is. Life is a journey of exploration and we’re here to show you the myriad landmarks this voyage has to offer. The way we see it, this uncertainty just makes you twice as likely to find your soul mate.

I dropped out of school, can I still join?

Yes! Of all the people out there, you need a teacher in your life the most! Sure, you could find a guiding light at the pool hall or bingo hall, IHOP, or an Al-Anon meeting, but through our award winning service, you can find a professionally established provider who is also a licensed educator.

Aren’t old people gross and creepy?

They can be, but they can also be wise, kind, experienced and financially generous in ways your peer group can not, for the right student. So what if you have to endure a wrinkled sack to enjoy a meaningful emotional connection? So what if your partner’s legs have dead, varicose veins that almost perfectly map out the rivers of South America? At least this partner will understand you well enough to let you make prank calls from their home telephone.

My new boyfriend keeps asking if I’m a cop, should I be worried?

No, this is perfectly normal in any new relationship. If he keeps asking, consider showing him your chest or reaching down into his pants. If it doesn’t convince him you aren’t the fuzz metaphorically, perhaps he can reach into your pants to see that you aren’t the fuzz literally. If he still isn’t convinced, it will at least take his train of thought in a new, unavoidable direction the both of you will remember for a life sentence.

My baby sister wants to join, is that okay?

Yes! With the high rate of success our service enjoys, we lose student members every day to lasting, meaningful relationships. Those who aren’t snapped up by loving teachers (the undateable) eventually grow too old for our purposes. We’re always open to replacements students, and make it as easy as possible for them to join. So if you’re sister is 7 or 17, show her how to use the mouse to lgin to our site and create an exciting profile for herself. There might even be cash and prizes for you for referring her!

I want to date more than one teacher, is that okay?

While we do not encourage this sort of behavior, we believe in personal empowerment, so we never discourage it. Our research has shown that very few teachers mind sharing a student (since they share all of their students with other teachers in their professional lives). If you’re going to date non-exclusive, just let the teachers know so they can determine personally the value of your sexual openness for themselves. You might be surprised to see how many teachers are willing to pile on to a situation like yours!

Marry Into Good Credit | Finance College Dating | Free Legal Help | Hide Computer Data | Student Home Loans